Breaking free from the cult is one step, but knowing how to take hold of a fresh new life without them is another. Here are five tips to move forward:
#1 - Educate. There are others who have been through this journey who may have nuggets of wisdom. Podcasts, videos and books may reveal that the phrases cult leaders use from other toxic organizations are very similar if not word for word. It’s as if they all went to the same training camp! Sometimes it just feels comforting to know we are not the only ones who went through this.
#2 - Talk it Out. It’s healthy to find someone we can trust to share our heartfelt emotions with at this time. This is going to be a process, like peeling the layers of an onion. There was trauma, abuse, manipulation and probably a long line of victims before us. Some of what took place will seem surreal. This is all about waking up to what happened to us without the distortion.
#3 - Move! Take time each day to move the body. Fresh air and sunshine do wonders for the soul! Getting out in nature is soothing and therapeutic. Some people felt compelled to leave the city where this all took place. If the desire and the finances are there, leaving town can be beneficial. It will probably help eliminate running into cult members in public places for sure. It can also help restart life as a fresh new beginning!
#4 - Acceptance. There will be times when our brain unveils a memory we had blocked out. There may be weeks or years of complete memory lapses, some will surface, others may come up at more appropriate times when we are ready. We may have thought of ourselves as a strong, competent, intelligent person and feel appalled that we were pulled into a cult. Whatever feelings come up - allow them without judgement. We may have been one of the organization’s top recruiters and now we feel ashamed. Let the shame sit there, and then let it go. Oftentimes we wish we could change the past, but we can’t. We can only improve on the present and move gracefully into the future.
#5 - Forgive Ourself. When we have been deceived, there may be a lot of humiliation. We may experience remorse, regret, and embarrassment. The hardest person to forgive will be ourselves. We will feel as if we let people down, participated in deceptive practices and may have hurt others. There is a strengthening that comes with being willing to apologize to those we have hurt. Admitting we have failed and had poor judgement does not mean that we are a failure. Asking for forgiveness from those we may have harmed is the right thing to do. Whether they accept our apology and forgive us is another story. They may not and we can’t control that, nor should we try. We can make healthy choices to rectify any injuries caused by us, but we cannot control someone else’s response to us.
This is about discovering what we need to move forward in life. It’s about mending our relationships and learning how to trust ourselves again. This is a season to nurture our intuition and learn how to listen to our heart and pay attention to those pauses that come up. This is a time to reclaim our free will.
If you would like to learn about Moving from Survival to Strength, I invite you to read or listen to
Are You Caught in a Cult? Part 7
Moving from Survival to Strength
This information has been provided to help people who have been drawn into unhealthy controlling organizations. If you wish to learn more, or care to share your story to help others, please contact us at Glue Your Life Back to Better.com
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