Our previous blogs Are You Caught in a Cult? have addressed the motivations and maneuvers of highly controlled environments. Now we will start looking at what happened from a new perspective.
For example, instead of seeing oneself as vulnerable or weak, it’s time to recognize that we were subject to psychological manipulation. In order to separate one’s self emotionally from the group, we can use writing or verbal notes on how the organization used trickery to deceive us and others. We may have participated in those activities as a member. Now it’s time to recognize we are choosing to leave that behavior behind us.
A Two Sided Journal May be a Great Tool.
On one side, write about the painful memory from the cult’s perspective. For example: I was irresponsible, I neglected my obligations and was reprimanded. On the other side, write the reality from your current viewpoint: I attended my mother’s birthday dinner, missed a cult meeting and I was punished.
Focus on the Good.
Acknowledge the courage it took to get out of the cult. Recognize the flickers we may have had when we secretly questioned them. Embrace the strength it took to break free. Give ourselves grace knowing we reacted normally as one who was in an abusive environment. Applaud our efforts for rebuilding a safe life. Now we get to exercise critical thinking and actually choose our clothing, friends and food. Learn how to rest and celebrate this new life!
Here are three steps to move from survival to strength:
#1 - Procure Assistance:
Find a therapist skilled in working with people who have undergone identity dismantling or systemic gaslighting. Not all counselors are the same. Seek out therapists who are trained in spiritual abuse or cult recovery. No one should do this alone.
#2 - Pre-Cult Relationships:
When people are first recruited by a cult, one of their first tactics is to isolate that person. Now is the time to re-connect with those good solid family members and friends from before the recruitment took place. Re-establishing relationships with supportive people can help provide a grounding presence. Having someone to trust in life will encourage safety and self care.
#3 - Pursue New Interests:
This may be a time to think about what brings joy. Were there hobbies or topics of interest in the past that brought happy times and fulfillment? When someone breaks free of an unhealthy situation, they may realize they now have time to pursue old interests they used to enjoy but had set down. There may be new adventures to discover with a new circle of friends!
Life is a journey filled with twists and turns we may not have expected. We are here at this place in time for a reason. We didn’t make it this far by chance. What we do with our experience is our choice. This is our time to be encouraged. This could be our season to refresh, restore and reset in order that we might empower others.
If you or someone you know is dealing with an unhealthy manipulative relationship or cultic environment, please know that there are professionals who can help. A variety of organizations provide access to education, safety planning, and trauma-informed recovery. We have listed some of these specialized groups here:
Core Specialized Support Organizations
International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA): Founded in 1979, ICSA is the leading global network providing help for survivors, families, and professionals. They offer an extensive Service Provider Directory to connect you with therapists trained specifically in cult recovery, alongside educational resources, workshops, and survivor support groups.
Directory of Cult Recovery Resources
Support for Survivors, Family & Friends
Recovering From Religion: If the group or environment is religious or spiritual in nature, this organization provides a dedicated helpline, peer-led local support groups, and the Secular Therapy Project, which carefully vets mental health professionals to ensure they use strictly evidence-based, trauma-informed practices.
Immediate Mental Health & Crisis Support
If someone needs immediate support within the US or Canada:
The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 from any phone for free, confidential, 24/7 emotional support and crisis intervention.
Now that you have read or listened to all seven episodes, we invite you to share these blogs with others. People deserve to be safe and free from abuse and manipulation. By sharing these episodes, you could be the very person who contributes to their freedom and their new life of healing and celebration!
This information has been provided to help people who have been drawn into an unhealthy controlling organization. If you wish to learn more or care to share your story to help others, please contact us here: https://www.glueyourlifebacktobetter.com/contact
Glue Your Life Back to Better
Back to better, one day at a time.
This article is also available in audio and video format. Learn more at GlueYourLifeBacktoBetter.com.
Produced by Brilliant Beam Media.
