What’s Next - Are You Caught in a Cult? Part 4
After reading Are You Caught in a Cult Part 3 we learned that the signs were all there and
we may have unknowingly been pulled into a controlling environment.
Now what do we do? How do we get out of this mess?
Getting Free from the Cult -
Set a date to stop attending the meetings, the rally, the home events. Today’s the day I will not answer their calls. One does not need to give notice, turn in a resignation or share that the jig is up. In fact by doing any of those things we become the focus of their wrath.
Cult leaders do not do well when a follower realizes what has really been going on and now for them - it’s game over. The leader will see them as a traitor. They will do everything in their power to annihilate the reputation of one who now knows this is a scam. If the leaders have knowledge that someone is diverting from “the path”, they will assume the defector will tell others to try to dismantle the machine. In order to stop this, they may start a campaign to discredit anyone who attempts to leave the clutches of the cult.
Know this going in: If the cult member who is determined to get free is loved by the other members, the cult leaders will probably know that. Those leaders also know they will be unsuccessful in smearing that person’s reputation, so they will go with option B. They will pretend the deserter is dead. They will act as if they never existed. They will never explain the absence of that person and they will act like they have no idea why they left, where they went or what happened. They may drop comments like “they were having problems at home that we can’t really discuss”, as if they know a secret that only the elite members would understand. They will simply move on and expect the followers to comply with their example.
This may in and of itself be more painful for the one seeking freedom and here’s why: The member who is now choosing to get out of the group has already devoted much of their time and thousands of dollars, but that’s not the worst of it. They have spent years of their lives believing the leaders loved them! They were so entrenched in the group that they truly felt like they were a family! They may have spent every holiday, birthday celebration and weekend with these people. Their children’s only friends may be cult members. It’s possible that the cult supporters have been in the lives of the children for years, so the separation can be difficult to say the least!
There will be shock and awe. Some of the disciples may lash out in fury because of the departure. They may twist the truth, and create lies about the member seeking to be free to make their escape more challenging. Others may use accusations, guilt and condemnation to shame the departees. Be prepared for the blame game.
People may accuse the one leaving the group with words like:
“Look what you have done!”
Remember it’s not what you have done, it’s what you saw. And what you saw was an unhealthy abuse of power. Choosing to get away from abuse is a good move. It’s the right thing to do.
Others may retaliate with words like:
“You have ruined everything!”
Making healthy choices is not ruining anything, unless of course you are the one trying to manipulate people. Getting out of the grip of manipulators is a wise choice.
Some followers may declare:
“This is all your fault!”
They are usually responding out of fear. They are afraid their life is going to be altered in some way.
While these tactics are awful, nothing will sting more than being shunned.
The person seeking freedom from the cult will lose everyone from that organization they thought loved them. They will wake up with no friends, no family and no where to go. They will feel as if they lost their purpose. They will be conflicted because they were so emotionally charged with belonging to this fraudulent family and now they are the outcast. If there are children involved, there will be additional levels of pain and confusion.
There may be thoughts of feeling abandoned even though they were the one seeking to be free. It’s the same feeling when one realizes they have been scammed and are out a lot of money and they never saw it coming! Cult leaders are cons.
To Learn what happens next, Read The Cut, the Crumble and the Crash: Are You Caught in a Cult? Part 5
This information has been provided to help people who have been drawn into unhealthy controlling organizations. If you wish to learn more, or care to share your story to help others, please contact us at Glue Your Life Back To Better.com
Back to Better Blog is presented in partnership with BacktoBetter.com and Brilliant Beam Media.
