When Someone Shows You Who They Really Are - Believe Them!

When Someone Shows You Who They Really Are 

I am sure at some point in life we have all been (or will be) in a situation when we are surprised at the behavior of another person. Perhaps this individual was someone we trusted, admired, worked for, lived with, served in some capacity, and even respected. The relationship may have gone on for weeks or decades. We thought the world of them ~ and then it happened. 

The colorful threads began to unravel and reveal who they really are against the background of who we thought they were – or rather - who they wanted us to believe they were. 

Seemingly out of nowhere, their behavior began to display their true essence that left us wondering… The sheer surprise turned into shock and then feelings of being completely baffled. Thoughts like these may have erupted: I cannot believe they treated us like this, and for no reason. Who do they think they are? That is the question -  is it not?                                                                                  

Who Do They Think They Are?

Is there an elevated ego here, out of control, that needs to be fed by those they perceive to be less important? Do they actually believe the lies they tell us and themselves? The more important question is: how do we navigate these turbulent waters? What is our best plan of action when we feel like they are at the helm of the boat wearing the only life vest and we are sinking with the ship? 

Here are 3 Tips to Survive and Thrive Through it All:

Intuition – We must trust our gut. At the first inkling of a red flag regarding their behavior, pay attention and take notes! Everybody has a bad day, but are they launching attacks morning, noon, and night? Are they artful accusers who try to back people into a corner by barking orders at them? If so, this is a classic manipulator who does not see the value of people or healthy relationships. Instead they behave as if they have a crown on their head and everyone else has been put here to bow, serve, or applaud them. 

Ignite – If you are not sure, ignite the light and hold the flame of truth to examine more closely. Is it ok to question their actions or comments? They have probably built a fortress of people around them who have been taught to never investigate, so get ready for the reply – it could be volatile! Shine the light on their erratic behavior and simply ask if what they are saying is what they are intending to say? Sometimes people are not careful with the words they choose and when it is spoken back to them, they realize there was a harsh or abusive tone and are apologetic. Here is a key question to ask ourselves; did they display any sign of remorse? If not, now we know who or what we are dealing with, and the next step is up to us!

Initiate – Those of us who may be considered people pleasers may have fallen into relationships like this more frequently than others. Folks who possess a nurturing personality may easily become prey because they believe the best of everyone. They long to give people second, third and fourth chances or more! But at some point, even the most loving people will come to the realization that they are being taken advantage of and must make a change. 

When we have that flash of insight there will be hurt feelings, dismay, and pain. Pain is a natural motivator for change, and no one is expected to stay in unhealthy situations, so believe it or not – this is a good thing! It can be a very empowering experience to take the first step to break free from fraudulent folks. If we do not make the move to release ourselves from their grip, it will only get worse. We have the power to make the change ~ embrace it and run with it! Literally, RUN…with it! Those who genuinely care about us will be cheering us on and now, the authentic individuals we are supposed to meet, can enter our life.

The moral of the story is this:

When Someone Shows You Who They Really Are – Believe Them! 

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Produced in partnership with Brilliant Beam Media.